


The Banana Incident

by Talitha_Koum



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Bananas, Based on a Tumblr Post, Based on a real life experience, Batfamily (DCU), Crack, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fire, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, No Angst, and also, be safe with any experiments, can be dating or gen, i am not responsible for any accidents that occur, inappropriate use of microwaves, it really doesn't make any difference, seriously dont do this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:41:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22996372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talitha_Koum/pseuds/Talitha_Koum
Summary: Internet post says Banana+Microwave=Fire. This is put to the test.
Relationships: Stephanie Brown & Tim Drake, Stephanie Brown/Tim Drake
Comments: 8
Kudos: 59





	The Banana Incident

“Hey, Tim, come look at this.” Stephanie calls out from where she's sprawled on the rug in the lounge. 

“What is it?”

“Just come here!”

Tim groans as he gets up from the couch he had been lying on and shuffles over to look at what she was trying to show him. It was a Facebook picture, that was a screenshot from Tumblr, talking about how bananas are flammable and therefore shouldn’t be put into the microwave.

“Cool.” He says, before heading back over to the couch.

“Do you think they really catch on fire?” Stephanie asks just as he was about to lay down. Tim freezes before looking down at her and grinning. “There’s only one way to find out.”

She looks up at him, and seeing the expression on his face, begins to laugh. “I’m pretty sure everyone else is gone for the day. You think we can get away with it?”

“B’s here, but he’s so caught up in a case he wouldn’t notice anything short of an explosion.” Tim reaches down to pull her from the floor, and they make their way into the kitchen.

“Aww, man.” Tim groans as he holds up the only two bananas in the fruit basket. “They’re turning brown. What if it doesn’t work on the brown ones?”

“Alfred lets rotting bananas just sit around?”

Tim shrugs “Browned bananas work best for banana bread. But seriously, what if the fact they’re brown changes how they react in the microwave? They might not catch on fire.”

“So we run to the store, Boy Genius. We can get two green ones, and two yellow ones, and compare how they react in the microwave.”

Tim looks at her, confusion etched on his face. “Why do we need two of each? Wouldn’t one work just fine?”

“Timmy, we’re trying to do a very serious scientific experiment here. You can’t just do one test!” Stephanie teases as she pulls him out the door.

_._._._

When they get back from the store, they begin to plan out how they’re actually going to complete the experiment. 

“Okay, so what I’m thinking is – ” Stephanie cuts off her sentence when she runs into Tim’s back, him having stopped at the sight of someone in the kitchen.

“Jason, hey. We weren’t expecting anyone to be here.” He stammers out. Smooth, very smooth.

“Yeah, I heard Alf made cookies. I was planning to snag some before you vultures ate all of them.” Jason turns from the cupboard to look first at Tim, then at Stephanie, who was hiding the bag of bananas behind her back. He cocks an eyebrow at them. “Why? Did I interrupt something?”

Going for nonchalant, Tim says “No, not really. We were just chilling.”

Clearly not convinced, Jason rolls his eyes and asks, “What are you two about to do?”

Stephanie grins and fesses up “I found this thing on Facebook about bananas catching on fire in the microwave. We wanted to see if it was true.”

Jason shakes his head and sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Okay. I’ll keep quiet about this on two conditions.”

“What?” Tim begins to protest before Steph elbows him in the side.

“We’ll hear your terms. Continue.”

“One, clean up after you’re done. It’s Alf’s day off, and if ya’ll screw up his kitchen he’ll never take another one. He works hard enough as it is.” He pauses long enough for Stephanie to nod that they accept, and continues “Condition two, have some safety equipment, okay. If either one of you get hurt over this, and B finds out I was here, I’ll never hear the end of this.”

“Aww, Jason, you do care!” Stephanie teases.

“Shut up, Blondie. I only care because you’re the only one of the Bats that’s tolerable, and Tim-Tam there is useful when he wants to be.”

“Thank, Jay.” Tim responds dryly. 

Jason levels them both with a look. “Do you accept these terms, or do I rat you out?”

Tim and Steph glance at each other, then turn and nod to him. “We accept your terms and conditions.” Tim says, solemnly.

At this, Jason rolls his eyes and exits the kitchen with his cookies, mumbling under his breath about not getting paid enough. Putting the bananas on the counter, Stephanie turns to look at Tim. “What kind of safety equipment should we use?”

Shrugging his shoulders, Tim answers “I don’t know. Goggles maybe? Or gloves? Maybe both.” 

Steph nods, and says “You get the goggles, I’ll find some gloves we can use.”

Tim jogs down to the study and slips behind the grandfather clock to get to the Batcave. He steadies himself and walks with purpose past Bruce who is staring intently at the Bat-Computer. Bruce glances over at him and rasps, voice rough from not speaking, “Tim. Everything okay?”

“Oh, yeah. I just left some stuff down here after patrol last night. Everything going good with the case?”

Bruce grunts, and turns back to the screen. “It’s coming along.”

Tim nods, then turns to snag a pair of goggles from their place on the equipment rack. He heads back up to the Manor, calling out over his shoulder, “See you at dinner, B.” He waits long enough to hear Bruce grunt in answer, and makes his way back to the kitchen. 

Seeing Stephanie already there, lining up the bananas, he held up the goggles and grinned in excitement, “Ready for this?” 

She grinned back at him and held up some floral oven mitts. “These were all I could find, but they should work just fine.” 

“Oh, yeah, for sure. What’s the notebook for?”

“Timmy!” Stephanie stares at him, eyes wide in pretend shock. “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten the Mythbusters rule! ‘The only difference between screwing around and science is writing it down.’ This is very serious science!” She maintains the façade for a few seconds longer, then breaks down, laughing.

Tim laughs with her and holds up his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry.” He takes a deep breath, then asks “How do you want to do this?”

“Well, I was thinking we do the brown bananas, then the yellow one, then the green ones, writing down the reactions as we go. How long do you think we should put them in for?”

“I don’t know. Maybe put them in for five minutes, and if something starts to happen, we take them out and write down how long they were in the microwave. That sound good?”

“Yep.” Stephanie grins before putting on the gloves and sliding the goggles over her eyes. “Let’s do this!”

_._._._

“Tim, it’s on fire! The entire thing is on fire!” Stephanie shrieks as she steps back, recording the flames on her cell phone. Tim scrambles for the fire extinguisher and rips the microwave door open before pulling the pin and lathering the microwave, cupboard, and countertop in foam.

He drops his arms, breathing hard, eyes wide, before looking back at Steph who is now recording him. They stare at each other before breaking into peals of laughter.

“Master Tim, Miss Stephanie, what on earth is this?” Alfred shocked voice rings through the kitchen, freezing both of them. 

“Alfred! We weren’t expecting you back yet!” Tim cries out, feeling very much like a deer in headlights.

“I can believe that, sir. I do hope you intended on cleaning this mess up?”

“Of course, Alf. We were just doing a science experiment, and it got a little out of hand. If we had known it would make this much of a mess, we wouldn’t have done it!” Stephanie said apologetically.

Alfred sighed, and placed a bag on the counter. “Miss Stephanie, I do not believe that for a minute. Nevertheless, there is a mess to be cleaned, and” he glanced down at the notebook Tim had abandoned in his scramble for the fire extinguisher “scientific notes to be recorded.”

The two of them nod, taking off their goggles and oven mitts to reach for the rubber gloves and washrags Alfred was holding out to them. “In future, perhaps do a little more research so you can anticipate the reaction better. And use a microwave that is not in my kitchen.”

Again they nod solemnly before getting to work, grinning every so often as they caught each other’s eye.

‘That was awesome.’ Stephanie mouths. 

‘We should do it again sometime.’ 

_._._._

A Few Weeks Later

“Tim. Tim! Come look at this!” Stephanie practically screams in excitement. 

Tim groans and rolls off the couch to crawl over to where she was laying on the rug. She holds out her phone, and he reads a tweet

‘putting an avocado in the microwave to soften it obviously didn’t seem like my best idea but I can honestly say I did not expect it to burst into flames’

He looks over to see her already grinning.

“Let’s do it.”

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is loosely based on my real-life experience. I saw the Tumblr post, screenshot to Facebook, and wanted to test it. If you're curious, brown bananas liquefy, yellow bananas get brown and mushy, and green bananas spark. I stopped the microwave before it could actually catch on fire. Also, it makes the house stink really bad when you do this. I don't recommend it. 
> 
> I have not tested the avocado post, so I can make no comment on that beyond, I don't recommend you test it. If you do, be safe, have the proper equipment, and probably don't do it inside.


End file.
